Some Great Golfing 1 Liners

I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.

I've spent most of my life golfing. The rest I've just wasted.

They call it golf because all the other four-letter words were taken.

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.


Golf is a game in which you yell "fore," shoot six, and write down five.

Give me golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.

Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close to having a perfect golf swing.

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.

It's good sportsmanship not to pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

Golf is a game in which one endeavors to control a ball with implements ill-adapted for the purpose.

The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.

Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.